UNCODED

The Jay Foshee Gazette Weekly Email 

Series 13 Issue #104

October 4th, 2013

"Is it true you never forget your first time?" 

I haven't been looking forward to this weeks issue. I've been dreading it all week since Sunday because I knew what this week's lead would be. I thought I would be able to write around it, or maybe by Friday I could bury the lead. Maybe by today it would be moved to page 6 under the picture of the girl in the bikini where know one would see it but no! It's time. 

I've had a pretty rough week this week. Not just because I'm trying to switch my sleeping/awake schedule from nights to days but because on Sunday, my last official night, I lost my first patient. I've been in codes before but this time it was my patient. Sometimes I'd had the people who coded as patients but it was someone else's patient at the time.

It's an odd thing when people die period. This was harder because my patient went pretty quickly. I'm really forbidden from talking about the details due to HIPPA laws but this isn't about what happened. This is the JAY FOSHEE Gazette, and this is about how I'm dealing with it. 

I tweaked my back trying to get the patient on the headboard so we could get good compressions so I've been in a nice 4-5 (numerical scale) pain and had to call in the next day. I look back now and think this was a mistake. I think getting back on the horse. Not just that horse but a new "wilder" horse they call the DAY SHIFT (cue scary music!) has helped a little. I have definitely run the gambit this week as far as emotions go, everything from I don't want to do this anymore to I'm coming back with a vengeance and I'm going to be the BEST NURSE EVER!!! I'M GONNA BE SUPERNURSE! THIS CANNOT, WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!!! But it will! The odds are not in my favor on that. In fact I was part of a code my first day back. The number of patients I see in a year, the floor I work on and as years go by, it will happen again. The house always wins the longer you play! 

If you are a Christian, as I am, it brings of some interesting points of faith. At least it has for me. I'm not questioning my faith, it's not WHY GOD?? it's more of questions along free will vs. choice. Could anything I did or have done made a difference?? Was it the patient's time? Could I (and I mean WE cause there were like 20 people in there with me!) have done anything to change the outcome. Could WE have bought the patient a few more hours, days? Could the patient have survived and walked out of the hospital?? I don't know. 

Some things I did great, somethings I could have done better. Will it make me a better nurse? I don't know. I know what will/does make me a better nurse and that's the men and women that I work with on CVSD and Baptist Memphis Hospital. I turned around and had a handful of people helping and by the time we got CPR started we had a roomful. Of course, my judgment of time is off since it stopped for a few minutes. My teammates were great afterwards helping me finish my shift and picking up my patients for me while I tended to the family and the paperwork.* For me to personally thank any of them would do a disservice to the rest Cause I honestly couldn't tell you who was in there and who wasn't I was trying to focus on the patient. But my heartfelt thanks and appreciation to all of my night shift coworkers for all they did! 

ADDED* I don't make notes before I write but maybe I should start. I also meant to mention that I would like you to join me in praying for this family. They are going through one of the worst weeks of their life. Someone they love has died. 

*I thought there'd me more paperwork! 

CORDIE'S QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"I hope there's cookies in there!" - As she reaches into a bag of potato chips I was eating out of.

TIDBITS

MOVIES

Theaters 

-GRAVITY- The space shuttle breaking apart looks amazing! The reviews are great but the thing that makes me doubt is they only show the same 3 scenes over and over. Looks like all the action takes place in about 10 minutes in the 20-30 minutes in and then it's another hours of not quiet as cool, or good. Although every review says see it in 3-D on the biggest screen possible. 

DVD

-THIS IS THE END- The Judd Apatow group is back and this time they poke fun at themselves by playing themselves in an end of the world scenario. So if you think their funny, this will be funny. I personally don't think Seth Rogan is as funny as he thinks he is. 

SONG OF THE WEEK

Champagne Supernova- Oasis